Beep, beeeeeep!
“Ugh, these damn NPCs…”
I slam the horn and keep honking. Lately, these student drivers are testing my patience. Usually, a few blasts get them to speed up, but recently, they’re everywhere, and it’s driving me crazy.
I can’t be late for this pickup. If I am, that fellow will be roasting me for years.
“In 200 meters, turn right,” the mobile navigation app says in a robotic female voice.
I signal right, check the traffic, and turn at the next corner.
The destination is the same as the last time I picked him up—the Yangdu High-Speed Rail Station. But to my surprise, he’s nowhere to be seen when I arrive.
The watch on my left wrist reads 2:58 PM. At least I’ve made it on time.
Leaning back in the seat, I loosen the collar of my hoodie to relax. A few moments later, the back door clicks open, and a man dressed in a suit and top hat steps into the car.
“Good afternoon,” he says. He then closes the door gently, which I am grateful for.
“Afternoon,” I reply. “Didn’t I tell you last time that you’re way too overdressed for this place?”
He sighs. I glance at the rearview mirror and see that the same man now wears a slightly wrinkled button-up plaid shirt over a white t-shirt. His top hat is gone, but a pair of glasses now sits neatly on his nose. He pulls the seatbelt over himself.
I chuckle and start driving as soon as I hear the seatbelt’s buckle click. For some reason, the streets aren’t very congested this time.
Silence. I could turn the radio on, but that wouldn’t be fun.
“So, you three are really doing this every three Earth months?” I ask. I just want to break the awkward silence.
“Of course,” he replies. “We need to reinforce the Virtual Persona and Foolishness regularly; otherwise, the Great Mother will step in and get Him out of it.”
“Hoooh,” I say. I already know that, of course. “I heard you haven’t even been to Earth this whole time.”
“I can’t do that until the Sefirah Castle is fully repaired.”
We reach a red light. As a law-abiding citizen, I stop at the stoplight. The two of us fall silent again. I look to my left and see a traffic enforcer approaching a motorist. It looks like he’s about to issue a violation ticket.
I scoff. “Good luck with that. The Mayor just raised the fines for traffic violations.”
“I bet She did that to keep you in line,” my passenger says.
“Fair, I’ve been stealing distance while driving every once in a while. Although I almost hit a pedestrian that one time…”
“What the hell,” he mutters. “Your godson will be upset if you end up injuring people here.”
“Don’t care. I’ll just not show my face for a few decades, maybe.”
The light turns green, and we start moving again. We pass by a cathedral, then a vast square with a bizarre statue in the middle, before the tall buildings around us slowly dwindle in number.
“You’re crazy. I don’t even understand why you’re choosing to stay here.”
I give the golden sun ornament on my dashboard a quick glance.
“I mean, I could go to whichever planet I want,” I shrug. “It’s just that it’s fun to kill time here. And besides, that little Empress of yours comes here frequently—someone’s gotta take her to where she wants to go too.”
It seems he knows I glanced at the object on my dashboard. “Aren’t you planning to collect the others? We could help you.”
I don’t answer right away.
“This one’s enough for me. I’m not that greedy.”
He looks at me through the rearview mirror with an eyebrow slightly raised.
“For now, at least,” I add.
We both fall silent once again. I keep driving to the edge of the city. I can finally see the stream running through the lush green pastures up ahead.
Looks like this trip’s about to end.
I take a deep breath. “By the way…” I begin. I don’t know how to say these kinds of things. My fingers instinctively reach for the monocle resting in my right eye socket.
My passenger leans forward slightly, clearly waiting for me to continue. Dammit, why is he like this? I feel like I’m being put in the hot seat.
“Thank you, for doing that for Him.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
I can feel warmth creeping up the back of my neck, spreading to my face and ears.
“I hate you. Don’t make me say it out loud; it’s too embarrassing.”
“No 5-star rating for this trip, then.”
“Okay, fine.” I let out a deep sigh. “Thank you… for showing him the world He loved the most before He—”
“You have arrived at your destination,” the robotic female voice from the mobile navigation app rudely interrupts me. It brings me back to my senses.
I pull over to the side of the road and glance at the rearview mirror, watching him get ready to get out of the car.
“Don’t forget to leave a 5-star rating!” I say in a cheery voice. I really enjoy saying this. I don’t know why, though.
“See you in three months,” he says. With that, he leaves, closing the door of the car with care.
Now that I’m alone, I smile to myself. “Three months. I’m gonna get so tired of seeing your face soon.”
The rideshare app sends me a notification, and I see that he's left me with a 5-star rating and a generous tip, like the last time.
I make a U-turn to leave. I drive past the pastures again, and soon enough, I’m back in Yangdu. The app hasn’t brought me any new passengers, so I decide to log off and drive around instead.
I turn the radio on just in time for the Mayor’s announcements.
“Good afternoon, citizens. This is your Mayor speaking,” a familiar woman’s voice says. “Due to the rising costs of alcohol production, I have decided to raise the prices of absin—”
A harsh static interrupts the speaker, making me want to turn the radio off. However, this is a common occurrence.
The static stops after two seconds, and the woman’s voice returns.
“Ahaha, for legal reasons, that was a joke. And now… the weather.”
I keep driving and glance at the ornament on my dashboard.
No matter what the weather outside is, it’ll always be sunny to me.